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I recently did an all girls trip and on this trip we had dinner at a burger joint called Woody and we sat down at the beach in La Jolla, San Diego. As I sat there I was watching a family on the beach. The Mother was playing and running around while her little boy chased her. The boy had to be about maybe 4 yeas old and for the love of anything spiritual I could not fathom this feeling that took over me. All of a sudden I could not control the damn tears filling up in my eyes. All I could see as the Mother ran back and forth and the little boy giggling and chasing her was my son and I nearly 10 years ago.
What the hell, man 10 years ago. Is this what happens, is this the way it is supposed to be? Have I turned into one of those Mothers already who reminisces about the good ol`days, it seems so. I was telling my Mother in Law how as of lately just before my 32nd Birthday how damn emotional I have been. I drive to work, I start to cry. My sons 8th grade promotion, my gawd I just wanted to smack myself. I listened to every 14 year olds speech and the amount of intelligence and understanding of how their lives were just beginning. Damn it, I realized in that one moment when the principal said his speech “Parents, times are going to change. You`re going to call your kid and they’re not going to answer, texting them where are you at. They’re going to come to you “can I go to this party”.” What, NO! I am not ready for this! I had this memory swoop in of the day I taught him how to throw a football properly, then his little voice asking me “Mom, how old were you when you took your training wheels off your bike.” I told min, I never had any his next reaction was he looked at his bike and then looked at me and said “get the tools”. We spent two hours in the middle of our street as I ran next to him promising to never let him go until he was ready. Is this one of those times when I have to let him go now when he is ready but doesn’t have the heart to tell me yet?
In the very beginning of our trip my husband sent me a video of our oldest girls giving her first speech. Now, Gaby was shy, timid and didn’t have many friends. She going into the 8th grade and I could help but see how much she has blossomed into a confident, smart and beautiful young lady. She gave her speech without a shred of embarrassment, a shred of fear and I was so proud I could barely breathe listening to her voice. Damn it, there I was crying AGAIN, AGAIN! What is this? This is not me, I dont cry like this. My hormones have betrayed me! If you would like to donate a care package of tissues see info below, lol.
Writing this I realize now that its not tears coming out on their own, or an over reaction but mentally I am realizing how my kids are growing up so fast and how much they have grown into good people with good hearts and the memories I have with them are worth more than I ever thought they would be. It makes me understand that yesterday is just that and carries memories for the tomorrows to come. I am a Mother who is blaming Old Spice for turning her son into a man, I didn’t see it coming but it came...He was just my little sweetie, tiny fingers, hands and feeties…OLD SPICE SPRAYED A MAN OF MY SON! Degree would have never done this to him, just sayin.
Monday at approximately 12A.M. my slumber was disturbed by the constant barking of “Tank” (my handsome French Mastiff…think Turner and Hooch…that’s right...hold that image. That’s him!). Typically he’d bark here and there at a neighborhood stray cat that spends his life going through our trash at night. But this night his barks were a little meaner than usual. I heard him jumping on my gate itching to get at something! This signals to us that someone is actually on our property. This prompts me to get out of the softest, fluffiest and warmest part of my home, my bed. I walked down to little Abel’s room and looked out his window since he has a great view of our driveway. As my eyes adjust to the grogginess I see a hooded figure walking in my carport in between our cars! I watched him for what felt like forever! He began to walk in front of my house then to the neighbors cars and he proceeds to look into their window all while pacing from the front end of the car to back end.
What in the hell is this guy doing? I ran to my room to grab my phone and which wakes up Abel.
He asked me, “What in the hell are you doing?”
I reply, “There’s a guy being a creepo in front of the house!”
He immediately gets up and goes to the lurking position (little Abel’s room) while I am on the phone with 911
Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Me: “Yes, there is a man wearing a hooded jacket creeping around our cars and walking our street.”
Operater: does have a weapon? Is he Hispanic, white..?”
Me: “I don’t know but he is scarring me and looks suspicious”
At this point of the conversation I am thinking seriously?? Excuse me while I go downstairs and say “Hey Mister! I need your social security card, birth certificate and brand of your hoody so police can get their asses here.”
Abel is still at the window unable to see him so he goes downstairs and opens the door and creeps at the entrance of the front of our house. So here comes my Dad to join to the chaos. They’re both now in pajamas lurking by the wall of the house and watching this “creeper”. I’m whisper yelling at them to bring their asses back in the house. What you two gonna do? Jump him? The guy starts taking pictures of the cars. WHAT IN THE HELL?! where is the Policia when you need them?
Let me end with this. If you’re walking around a neighborhood with a hood on while lurking around houses at midnightand looking into vehicles to photograph cars, YOU ARE ASKING for trouble. In this guy’s case the Police were called for his poor choice of judgment in attire that night. Turns out the ‘creepo” was our HOA snitch! Ladies and gentlemen I called the cops on my HOA. I called the cops on my HOA LIKE….A….BOSS! (Queue the Rocky Theme Music). Did I feel sorry? No. Did I regret it? Hell no! Would I do it again? Yes. Because that’s what happens when you come around like a ‘creepo” scouting your neighborhood to issue fines all while disturbing our precious slumber! Let me remind you we actually need in order to pay your asses every month!
What a way to start 2015!
Today, I am going to tell you some of the tales of our four year
old daughter. For those of you who really know Brianna I don’t have to
explain much, but for those of you who do not, BEWARE…….
She has a quick, demanding personality and can be quite the handful. I’m going to explain that last part in more details but first I am going to shed some light to the other people who live in our home for further depth. You know, so you can have a real good idea of what I’m workin with.
First, lets start with Dad. Daddy has somewhat of a soft spot for his baby of the bunch. He tends to give into her tantrums and butter comments, “Oh Daddy, please can I have this doll? I just can’t live without it. If I don’t get this doll, I will never be able to sleep again!”. This of course would never work on me because I practically invented it! Who could fall
for such words?
Next, her big brother. He is the prime example of “The Apple Doesn’t Fall Too Far from the Tree” with the exception of picking on her just a enough to make her tough, but will cave to her when her acting skills kick in and the water works come through the flood gates. This kid even has special apps on his tablet just for her.
Then, there’s Julie. She is the “Grandma” type sister. Julie holds her and treats her just as a Grandmother would. When I scold Brianna or she doesn’t get something she wants, you can count on Julie to soothe her by whispering something like, “Its ok baby. Here eat my cookie instead.”.
Finally, Gaby the oldest sister. She is the one I can count on to give her the harsh reality of life! “Well, if you weren’t crying maybe Mama would let you have a cookie! But noooooo. You are four years old and acting like a snot when you don’t get your way! How old are you? Start acting like a big girl or everyone will keep treating you like a bratty little baby!”.
Now that I have described all of the culprits, now I will move
back to Brianna. Her Dad and I are trying desperately to get her to sleep
in her own bed. Her brother even made up a tale of “Monster Spray”.He will go in her room and spray around the bed and tell her the monsters do not like the smell so they stay away. Until someone at school told her “Its
just water and there is no such thing” (Little BAST….never mind). I would
love to know who told her this so the next time I go to her day care I can
accidently push him off his scooter as he rides by. Hey!! You!! Yea you
TODDLER who told Bri Monster Spray was not real! You have made my nights just that more difficult! THANKS and payback is owed to you.
As a result this is my last conversation with Bri about sleeping with us:
As I lay in bed with her dad on his side:
Bri: Mommy, can I please sleep with you?
Me: No, I told you in your own bed.
Bri: Please Mommy, I can’t sleep without you and Daddy.
Me: No Brianna, I said NO and that’s it.
Bri: Dad, tell Mama I have to sleep with you guys.
Me: I am not going to change my mind, it’s a no and that’s it.
Bri: *STOMPS and backs up three steps* FINE! I AM NEVER, EVER, EVER GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU AGAIN!! DON’T EVER ASK ME TO SLEEP WITH YOU GUYS *runs off to her room*
Her Dad and I look at each other and I reply, “Well, I don’t know
how I accomplished that but high five me” :)
She didn’t realize it then, but she is gave us exactly what we asked for in the first place.
Another example, on the way home from soccer practice her and Gaby are arguing in the back:
Bri: Can we get a McDonalds ice cream?
Bri: Please *whines*
Gaby: Bri, shut up…you whine too much and nobody wants to hear you!
Bri: Gaby, nobody is talking to you. I was talking to Mama.
Gaby: Mama is telling you NO because you’re whining.
Bri: I am not whining. Mama please… *whining*
Me: I said no.
Gaby: See, stop whining and be quiet!
Bri: YOU KNOW WHAT GABY, IM NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORE! DON’T TALK TO ME, IM MAD AT YOU! IM NEVER TALKING AGAIN! *arms crossed and furious face*
In the end, no more whining or talking came from her the rest of
the ride home. This is my toddler ladies and gents, dealing with her is
going to be a joy ride.
My oldest Daughter Gaby is in the 6th Grade. She has been pretty good about a “no boyfriend” rule her Father has set.
She is a pretty girl and don’t get me wrong, I know she has had some crushes here and there. But, for the most part she has not had a boyfriend.
I know she is getting older and I have always told her Dad “If we try to force a “Not allowed” attitude, she will only do it behind out backs”. Dad, is a bit old school if you haven’t noticed. I get it, my Dad was the same way. He has every right to want to shelter and hide his daughters from growing up. We must face the truth though, IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! I know kids are growing up way too fast now a days, but what is the worst thing that can happen right now? She will hold a boys hand for the first time, maybe get her first kiss? We cannot prevent the inevitable. This boy that may or may not be her boyfriend has had a crush on her since 3rd grade. He has asked her 3 times a year to be his girlfriend and she has told me every time. I know he has even walked both my girls home safely when one them had a flat tire on her bike. I see her text messages from friends telling her a girl asked him out and he says “no” to every girl because he is waiting for Maggie (she goes by Maggie at school).
I hope we can have a discussion with her on what is appropriate and what is not. How to hold her own self worth to a high standard.
Her own high standard, not mine, not Dads and certainly not a friends view. If she does something and only does it because “all the kids” are doing it. Well then, she is a follower and not a leader. She has been pretty good at being her own leader. She will make mistakes, she has made mistakes and that’s what kids do. It is our duty to make to show what is right from wrong how to be strong independent people in a real world. There is more to being a parent but that’s just a taste. Would this open a door for her to want more or do more, is that not part of life anyways. As an adult I am still learning, hence today’s blog. I am here for my daughters and will always be here for them. I don’t think there is much I can do here besides the conversation. She is always busy anyhow, soccer and school activities she does not have much of a social life outside of school to give this boy any more attention than he needs….lol
Gaby ended up coming to the conclusion that just because she was mature for this decision, apparently all the other kids were not. She didn't like how the other kids would try to force them into holding hands etc. She had a long discussion with "him" and let him know that maybe in the future they can try this out again, but right now everyone else is immature and making it difficult for them and trying to make them do and be what she doesn't want.
Can I say "proud momma"!! Yes, I can.
I know I have not written in such a long time and maybe I can
make it up to you with a whole list of new things happening. One, let’s start with my son. He will be 13 this June and I have to say he really isn’t that bad of a kid. For the most part, his name is the least called upon our house. He is pretty helpful, does his chores, does his homework and most of all I do not have issues with him and school. What more could a Mother ask for, right? I couldn’t…he is the ideal decent American kid, he has good morals, has great judgment in who he hangs out with. (record scratch) He has a girlfriend……say what? Ok, I admit I knew about his very first girlfriend and I did not have these feelings I am having with this one. I mean, he’s 13, 13, 13!! “Mom, I love her”…..then, an indescribable spinning was happening, a pain sharp and throbbing was happening in my chest. It was a feeling of a heart attack, possibly a stroke if I knew what they felt like. It was an agonizing stabbing pain, right in my chest where my heart sits, the very heart I loved him for all his 12 ¾ years, the heart that gave into his pouty face when I said “no”. AGHHHH, IT HURTS, WHY DOES IT HURT SO!? He loves her? He said “I love her”? Yep, my Son has caught the viral love bug.
After much a long discussion of the meaning of love, the do’s and
don’ts, the always be a gentleman, and remember she has a Father speech. I felt astonished and a sense of small security in myself as a parent that my son could tell me that. I would like to tell you that I was cool, calm and collective but that would be a lie. Before our discussion I had to have a long discussion with the only person I knew who could relate to my feelings, someone who only had one son, someone who knew exactly how I felt since I stole her only son, my Mother in law. So, in closing my son is in love. Though we do not know how long it will last, I know for a fact that she is his first love and she will always be special to him.
Too often I think we as women truly downplay or give ourselves such harsh criticism. I can tell you that growing up I was made fun of for being skinny. I knew I had I hated my muscles. It was something I couldn’t stop because of the workouts I was doing back then. I would kill for the abs I had when I was 10. I had hardcore abs, and any family member could vouch for that. I was not the average kid though. I was skinny and had muscles and I got picked on for not being the “norm”. My self esteem wasn’t extremely high as far as looks. I remember having friends who I thought were far prettier than I would ever be. They had the boobs, they knew how to style their hair and were a loud to wear make-up they had what boys wanted and here I was this stick kid, no boobs too skinny and very fit. I never thought I was pretty, I always and to this day consider myself on just the cute side and as a kid I didn’t have that confidence a single bit. I have recognized that I am and always will be that girl who is always one of the boys. I look at my girls and they have the confidence of their Mother. Gaby gets picked on because she has hair on her arms and she really lets what some kid who is probably not a total gem get to her. She brings herself down 6 notches instead of holding her head high. Julie, thinks she is not pretty because she cannot do her hair like Gaby. Gaby can straighten it out and braid it nicely, Julie can only do a low pony tail. I tell my girls a quality you have is something someone else wishes they can have. Not because they’re my kids, but they are very beautiful. Gaby is gorgeous and has big eyes and a personality of a good friend. Julie has the prettiest curls and deepest and prettiest dimples. Kids make fun of her smile because her teeth are not perfect, I love her smile.
My sister-in-law sent me this link and it made me cry. Made me sad that so many women think of themselves on a lower level. They tell this forensic artist every bad quality about themselves and some only repeated what someone else told them at on point in their life, you must watch. After you watch, pay a lady a compliment and pass it on.
I loved this, Thank you Joanna for sharing!
This Sunday Nov. 17th from 10am to 5pm a Charity Fashion & Entertainment Event is happening.
What is is a Fashmob you ask? Its a Pop-up Boutique, where you'll find your favorite top fashion at......hold your breath girls.....50-80% off retail, and 30% of the profits support their this year pick of non-profit: Duet.
- Shirley's Closet: where you donate a suggested donation of $5 or more to Duet and enter the closet where you can pick any single gently used fashion item.
- Fun filled-day with lots of cool entertainment, family fun, surprises and giveaways!!
- easy way to get $5 coupons for your favorite stores in in the shopping center.
Share away beauties!
To find out more about the non-profit visit http://duetaz.org
Location: PALM VALLEY MARKET PLACE on Indian School Rd & Litchfield - Goodyear, Az (in the Safeway Shopping Center)
Each of my girls has their own limit on each other. Gaby, will not tolerate anything. Julie, will nag and continue to pick until you break and Bri, well she will just tattle on them (which I have to admit I do love. They cant get away with much once Bri started saying full sentences). Is this normal? Are sisters suppose to irritate each other so much? Sometimes its too much though. I mean I am a Woman and I know I am hormonal but GOOD LAWD!!! I even have limits with these girls. I feel lost sometimes listening to their arguments, they really argue about nonsense. Let me take you to one I remember the most a couple years ago:
Gaby: Oh my Gawd Julie, you don’t even know me
Julie: Yes, I do. You’re my sister
Gaby: You haven’t known me your whole life
Julie: Yes, I have you my older sister
Gaby: Yea, But I’m older so you haven’t known me my whole life. So, you don’t know everything about me.
Julie: Yes, I do. Ask me something.
Gaby: Fine, what’s my favorite shape?
Julie: A heart.
Gaby: ERRRR! Wrong, it’s a diamond.
Julie: Ok, ask me another one.
Gaby: What is my favorite color then?
Gaby: Wrong, it’s the brown orange
Julie: Ok, I may not know your favorite shape or color but I know my colors and that’s called bronze.
See, what I’m sayin’ people? Now it’s basically the same thing but they added a little spice to it like slammin my doors. Let me describe my favorite added ingredient they’ve come up with, they clench a fist at each other, pull back and sit there threatening the other with threats like “you want this”, “Don’t make me do it”, “Im gonna tell Dad”, “Its gonna hurt, you don’t want the beast to come out” with fists in air and they go round and round in a cirlcle. Then here comes Bri “Momma, Gaby and Julie are fighting do you want me to make you a cupcake”(Thank you Bri, because I cannot see them 3 ft in front of me and yes a cupcake would make this scene so much better) Please keep in mind my kids are like stick figures and weigh far below their weight standard by today’s Doctor’s. By the time it reaches this point, Im fairly amused. May seem bad to some, but you know they try so hard to make my life difficult in just about any way they can. No homework done, a simple disagreement with eachother, mess in my loft, bathroom left a mess, missing make-up from my room, my shoes being stolen. So, why not sit and watch the little shenanigans they call a miserable life. Don’t get me wrong, I will step in if anything gets physical. But for now, its all show and I am fully entertained. So, tell me my dear readers Is this normal sisterly love? Or is this just like the women issue with men. Men will never understand Women, because we don’t understand ourselves half of the time.
Don’t get me wrong, I am only describing the bad days. Most days now that they have joined soccer together they act like they have never fought. Are they crazy, are we crazy…? Yes and No, let me indulge in the truth Men. Yes, we are a little crazy and No, we are not born this way. We are simply pushed to the edge with constant repeating of “throw the trash please”, “Do not put your shoes on the couch”. If you would just listen when we ask nicely we will not get crazy and freak out into Linda Blair in exorcist mode. so, basically my girls are little broom stick riders in training, I guess. I think it's safe to say they are preparing eachother for a bit of life.
I really hope this advice helps some couples out there and I pray my girls will all get along soon, before I check myself into a nuthouse, just some wishful thinking.
I share bits and pieces of my life with everyone and please remember it is all humor.
Til next time,
For all us late show families, Spirit sent me a coopin for $10 off $40 or more. If you go online use "DEAL10EML". Only valid Today and Tomorrow (Oct.25th & 26th) Email me and I will send you a larger version of the pic below. Happy Halloween everyone!
*as soon as weebly is up and running properly, I will add the document to my site*