Monday at approximately 12A.M. my slumber was disturbed by the constant barking of “Tank” (my handsome French Mastiff…think Turner and Hooch…that’s right...hold that image. That’s him!). Typically he’d bark here and there at a neighborhood stray cat that spends his life going through our trash at night. But this night his barks were a little meaner than usual. I heard him jumping on my gate itching to get at something! This signals to us that someone is actually on our property. This prompts me to get out of the softest, fluffiest and warmest part of my home, my bed. I walked down to little Abel’s room and looked out his window since he has a great view of our driveway. As my eyes adjust to the grogginess I see a hooded figure walking in my carport in between our cars! I watched him for what felt like forever! He began to walk in front of my house then to the neighbors cars and he proceeds to look into their window all while pacing from the front end of the car to back end.
What in the hell is this guy doing? I ran to my room to grab my phone and which wakes up Abel.
He asked me, “What in the hell are you doing?”
I reply, “There’s a guy being a creepo in front of the house!”
He immediately gets up and goes to the lurking position (little Abel’s room) while I am on the phone with 911
Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Me: “Yes, there is a man wearing a hooded jacket creeping around our cars and walking our street.”
Operater: does have a weapon? Is he Hispanic, white..?”
Me: “I don’t know but he is scarring me and looks suspicious”
At this point of the conversation I am thinking seriously?? Excuse me while I go downstairs and say “Hey Mister! I need your social security card, birth certificate and brand of your hoody so police can get their asses here.”
Abel is still at the window unable to see him so he goes downstairs and opens the door and creeps at the entrance of the front of our house. So here comes my Dad to join to the chaos. They’re both now in pajamas lurking by the wall of the house and watching this “creeper”. I’m whisper yelling at them to bring their asses back in the house. What you two gonna do? Jump him? The guy starts taking pictures of the cars. WHAT IN THE HELL?! where is the Policia when you need them?
Let me end with this. If you’re walking around a neighborhood with a hood on while lurking around houses at midnightand looking into vehicles to photograph cars, YOU ARE ASKING for trouble. In this guy’s case the Police were called for his poor choice of judgment in attire that night. Turns out the ‘creepo” was our HOA snitch! Ladies and gentlemen I called the cops on my HOA. I called the cops on my HOA LIKE….A….BOSS! (Queue the Rocky Theme Music). Did I feel sorry? No. Did I regret it? Hell no! Would I do it again? Yes. Because that’s what happens when you come around like a ‘creepo” scouting your neighborhood to issue fines all while disturbing our precious slumber! Let me remind you we actually need in order to pay your asses every month!
What a way to start 2015!