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I recently did an all girls trip and on this trip we had dinner at a burger joint called Woody and we sat down at the beach in La Jolla, San Diego. As I sat there I was watching a family on the beach. The Mother was playing and running around while her little boy chased her. The boy had to be about maybe 4 yeas old and for the love of anything spiritual I could not fathom this feeling that took over me. All of a sudden I could not control the damn tears filling up in my eyes. All I could see as the Mother ran back and forth and the little boy giggling and chasing her was my son and I nearly 10 years ago.
What the hell, man 10 years ago. Is this what happens, is this the way it is supposed to be? Have I turned into one of those Mothers already who reminisces about the good ol`days, it seems so. I was telling my Mother in Law how as of lately just before my 32nd Birthday how damn emotional I have been. I drive to work, I start to cry. My sons 8th grade promotion, my gawd I just wanted to smack myself. I listened to every 14 year olds speech and the amount of intelligence and understanding of how their lives were just beginning. Damn it, I realized in that one moment when the principal said his speech “Parents, times are going to change. You`re going to call your kid and they’re not going to answer, texting them where are you at. They’re going to come to you “can I go to this party”.” What, NO! I am not ready for this! I had this memory swoop in of the day I taught him how to throw a football properly, then his little voice asking me “Mom, how old were you when you took your training wheels off your bike.” I told min, I never had any his next reaction was he looked at his bike and then looked at me and said “get the tools”. We spent two hours in the middle of our street as I ran next to him promising to never let him go until he was ready. Is this one of those times when I have to let him go now when he is ready but doesn’t have the heart to tell me yet?
In the very beginning of our trip my husband sent me a video of our oldest girls giving her first speech. Now, Gaby was shy, timid and didn’t have many friends. She going into the 8th grade and I could help but see how much she has blossomed into a confident, smart and beautiful young lady. She gave her speech without a shred of embarrassment, a shred of fear and I was so proud I could barely breathe listening to her voice. Damn it, there I was crying AGAIN, AGAIN! What is this? This is not me, I dont cry like this. My hormones have betrayed me! If you would like to donate a care package of tissues see info below, lol.
Writing this I realize now that its not tears coming out on their own, or an over reaction but mentally I am realizing how my kids are growing up so fast and how much they have grown into good people with good hearts and the memories I have with them are worth more than I ever thought they would be. It makes me understand that yesterday is just that and carries memories for the tomorrows to come. I am a Mother who is blaming Old Spice for turning her son into a man, I didn’t see it coming but it came...He was just my little sweetie, tiny fingers, hands and feeties…OLD SPICE SPRAYED A MAN OF MY SON! Degree would have never done this to him, just sayin.